Mom Who Curses 300 Times A Day Has No Fucking Idea How You Learned To Talk Like That

June 1, 2019

Report: Christ’s Blood Mostly Backwash

May 17, 2019

Vampire Robert Pattinson Returns To Bat Form

April 11, 2019

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November 28, 2017

"There's gonna be a fuckton of blood, oh and like, Christmas and romance shit." -Quentin Tarantino

November 15, 2017

"Mesa Outraged!"  -Boss Nass

November 3, 2017

 "I know I just sent my only son like 2,000 years ago, but humanity's not doing too well.  Just look at the last couple millennium: the Crusades, the Inquisition, Donald Trump.  Jesus might have done more harm than good.  I think humanity needs a woman's touch."  -God...

October 28, 2017

The American Society of Civil Engineers has given America a D+ on its latest Infrastructure Report Card.  Every four years, the ASCE examines current infrastructure conditions and needs, and issues a report card assigning grades to 16 categories including roads, school...

October 22, 2017

"Listen, we don't have any proof right now, but it's obvious this guy is hiding something."

October 19, 2017

"You know, now that you mention it, there may have been a few red flags," said Susan Dole, neighbor of convicted serial killer. "I mean he was a fine neighbor, but I could totally see him being a serial killer." Susan and Mike Dole lived next door to the now convicted...

October 17, 2017

Jim Lahey dead at 71. He was the liquor.

October 16, 2017

Commissioner, Rodger Goodell,  announced  Monday, that the league will be implementing a mandatory brain helmet rule. All players must undergo intensive brain surgery in order to place a protective helmet between their brain and skull. "Safety is our utmost priority",...

October 15, 2017

"The meeting between our two great nations was a huge success!" declared Donald Trump, President of the United States. "Our nation is extremely grateful for the constant support from our greatest ally, the United States of America." said Donald Trump, President of the...

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